I told myself never ever call her again... never see her again... never talk to her again from last week.. However, duno why... that she suddenly was called me again and tell me that she is having problem with "him" again recently... She came and see me, and expressed her feeling to me....When i looked at her face...and i felt that she is looking so bad this few days.. She told me that she couldn't sleep well recently because of she was quarrel again with "Him" and He is playing Disappear for almost 3 to 4 days, and she can't even could get him or sms him through the phone...
Today i'm received her sms in the morning again, she said she can't wait to see him immediately, and she want to find him to get his answer of why he is diasppear for few days without any news from him...When i received her msg, i straight away change my clothes and then drove my car to her house to see her again... She beg me to fetch her to find "Him" in the afternoon... she asked me whether i know where is UTM or not, i told her that i duno.. thus, i was called to my friends to get where is the location.. Luckily, shoo guan was abled to get me the answer.. hence i finally able to help her to get his college already.. "Urrghh.. i can't believe that she is with him for almost 10 month already, but she is never know where is he actually studying at... she still keep on calling to his classmate or colleague to get the location...
Well, we finally get the college its not name of UTM... its name of College Optima, it is one of the college which linking to UTM only , this college is located in Subang SS15... BUt He was never telling the truth to Her, maybe he dont want to let her know where he is studying actually loh.. SHe told me that he is studying for master currently, however when i called to my friend, shoo guan was telling me that this college is only teaching for diploma course such executive diploma in engineering & management, diploma in hotel management and etc .. i asked shoo guan whether there got master or not, nonetheless shoo guan telling me that all the info that he giving to me is trough the leaflet that he has on his hand 1..this college is dont have any master course could be taking over here.. Well, i didnt think much of that, i just brought her to go inside the college and tried ask the receptionist whether "he" is studying in that college or not... Too my surprised, the receptionist was answered her he is upstair in the class on that moment...
The receptionist told her that the class will finished at 5.30pm, But we were already there at 4.30pm.. hence she is just sitting inside the college waiting for him.. And then i just sitted alone at Old town with alone while waiting for her also..
5.30pm , he really came out from that college.. i was saw her follow at his back, the guy was looked so cool, when i look at this pity gal never release this fella even though how terrible that he hurted her, but she still really loving him so deeply... She said that guy is driving with Kancil 660Ex, but when this fella came out from the college, he was driving with a Saga iswara.. Urghh, his car was just parked infront of the college only. When i bringing her passby 3 times over the front street there, but she was never noticed it... He had changed his car already, no more with Kancil 660Ex anymore, but she is never know.. She and i was like a stupid drove the car passby there for so many time already then only know he is there...
Today was happened so many things on me, i getting aware that i'm not the first priority in her heart from the begining until the today, i was just a " standby " which she would like to keep me for her if she can't get the love from him anymore, then only i can become her choice.. I felt so diappointed and felt so sad that myself was getting lie from her from the first day until today.. I was offered her my 100% heart to her, but all the while i'm only the second place in her heart, she was always caring to what "he" feeling more than caring to how i'm feel.. Even though she was unawared that she hurted me so deeply, but she never know...
I becomes so Numb, i dont wish to see her anymore, coz i felt that she is never treating me with truthfull, everytime she want to see me is the time when she need my help... everytime she want to see me is the time when she quarrely with him... everytime she want to see me is the time when she is crying becoz of miss him so much... everytime she want to see me is the time that the fella go out drinking beer at outside and leave her alone... I found myself is a stupid fella why never want to being cruel like him, just dont care and dont bother her anymore even how hard she called me..
I keep on find the answer to myself, but i never find that which time meeting her is because she miss me then only find me 1... THe answered was NO..NO..NO..! My heart is so pain.. so pain and so pain... i tell myself, this time i should act once cruel to her, and i tell myself never ever contact her anymore, because i really couldn't help it anymore... Hopefully she never find me again also... each time when i saw her, my heart will feel pain one time...
I getting aware that i'm really a most stupid fella in the world who falling in love with a gal which is not belongs to me... By today, i getting aware of that ppl use to saying : if the man not bad enough, the gal dont love " In the case of even how cruel of he hurted her so bad, but she is still never can live without him.. I understand a lesson from this case, i should act as cruel as i can if i really want a person who can love me as much as she could...
My story is end... end... end, i dont wish to have any chance to continue with this kind of story anymore... really getting tiring already, i found my love on her is so tough.. so difficult... never will easy for me... I should really give myself a break now... Leven, Leven.. Leven... dont put your time on her again, stand up .. stand up... stand up.... dont think again... dont think again... your job is your first priority now... not her anymore... wake up... wake up...! Stop thinking her anymore... dont put yourself in sad story already... You can find a better life even dont have her with you...
Motivate : Tomorrow will be better...
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